Coming on holiday, I often run the risk of a smack in the mouth. Moreso when I am staying in an area where there is a strong local accent. Obviously, as a Scotsman, I talk properly and am therefore jealous of people with accents who talk funny. Jealous and fascinated, to the point where I sometimes have the urge to mimic their phrases and style of speech.

In case you were wondering, the quote in the subject is from a scene in “Billy Liar” (which I couldn’t find on YouTube) where Billy is talking to a Yorkshireman with a strong accent and starts using “yorkshire-ese” words and phrases he has invented with a friend. I can usually catch myself before I do this, but it’s only a matter of time until I do it in the wrong place to the wrong person and receive the aforementioned fistular dentristry

After a while, I do find phrases slipping into my vocabulary. Having lived in Manc for a while, I was chatting on the phone to a friend from home and without realising, referred to my sister as “Our Kid”. There was what can only be described as a deathly silence at the other end of the line, before the acidic reply “So, when’s the next album out, Liam”?

Our holiday is coming to an end, and I think I might adopt some Yorkshire phrases in order to ease the transition back to normal life. ‘appen that’ll be reet gradely.